Tidying up my desk today I uncovered a couple of packaging remnants I’d saved: the plastic pieces with holes designed to allow a product to hang on a display rack.
These ones were not part of the actual packages of _____ (I forgot what they were: that’s how long these have been sitting on my desk collecting dust and hairs). Rather they were stick-on adaptations capable of being removed and potentially stuck on other things.
Why did I keep these?
I must’ve thought I could stick them on my own hard-to-store things that I want to be visible on the nails above my desk. I don’t know what things but I must’ve had something in mind. Maybe?
It is interesting that I saw these bits of plastic as potential organizational and decluttering tools. I think a lot of do this: collect stuff that’s supposed to help with storage and reducing disorganized clutter that winds up just being part of the problem.
The more embarrassing question is why did I hesitate to throw them away when I “found” them today?
Oh well. I did throw them away. Right after I took the above picture.
I’m glad I was able to prioritize my desire to have an uncluttered (or less-cluttered, anyway) desktop over my fear of letting go of what is obviously garbage (to normal people, but not to me).
Going back to why I kept them in the first place / did not immediately throw them away: my brain doesn’t see things for what they (obviously) are (to normal people). My brain sees potential: what something COULD be. That is neurodivergence.
That is also what you could call creativity. So I am not going to feel ashamed about the impulse to set something aside instead of throwing it away when performing some other task, and not being able to make the big executive decision to react like a (boring, uncreative) normal person to garbage.
A lot of work I’m doing around hoarding & associated dysfunctions is motivating myself to make decisions based on visions of what I want and can have, if I so choose (in this case, a beautiful, clean, big, uncluttered desktop to enjoy sitting down and writing at with pride, focus, and pleasure). This instead of trying to motivate myself with guilt and shame to conform to normal people’s standards. The former feels better and is more effective than the latter.
Little small steps. There are so so many of them. Piled up and there for the taking to practice and grow, and recognize as accomplishments. Much bigger than they look.